Am I bi-polar? How to deal?
My first mood - This isn't always my happy mood, but it's the mood where I feel like I can do anything. I feel really motivated, and inspired. I walk around really confident, I feel beautiful, and like nobody can get in my way. I don't care about how others feel when I'm in this mood. I talk to everyone, and I talk really fast. I laugh a lot, and I do really stupid things sometimes. I also purposely annoy people when I'm this mood by dancing around them and jumping and screaming and singing. I also get into fights when I'm in this mood, but the kinds of fights where I just don't care about anything, so I would be laughing and making fun of the other person. This mood can be ended by one small thing, that I wouldn't usually care about. It lasts up to two weeks.
Second mood - this is the mood where I feel really neutral. I'm satisfied, I'm not sad or happy. I talk to only my friends, and laugh normally. This mood lasts only 2-4 days. Then, something alters it and I go back to my first or last mood.
Third mood - This is my sad and grouchy mood. It's not one or the other, its both at the same time. Inside I feel low, I want to self-harm myself, or die. All the stupid desicions I've made keep going through my mind. I leave my home work till the last minute and don't do anything significant. But to people I'm really rude. I make fun of them, using things that they went through to make them feel crappy. I snap at any small thing. I get into a lot of fights. If someone asks me what's wrong, I shut them out. I cry a lot when I'm alone during this mood. This lasts up to 6 weeks.
Am I bi-polar? I don't want to see a psychologist, I don't want to take pills. How can I deal with it on my own?