Feeling suicidal?

Okay, so I guess I should explain my purpose for posting one of these “oh I’m gonna kms” bs. So I’ve been diagnosed with Clinical depression and gen. Anxiety disorder, in the past I’ve been hospitalized for suicidal ideation, and I’ve been molested when I was in 6th grade and been bullied for 6 years and had an... show more Okay, so I guess I should explain my purpose for posting one of these “oh I’m gonna kms” bs. So I’ve been diagnosed with Clinical depression and gen. Anxiety disorder, in the past I’ve been hospitalized for suicidal ideation, and I’ve been molested when I was in 6th grade and been bullied for 6 years and had an unhealthy and verbally abusive relationship with my mom.I go to therapy and whatnot and I’m still in school. Lately, over the past two weeks, ive been falling apart more than ever. I’ve been getting increasingly severe panic attacks and more frequent, for no apparent reason, and I’ve just lost motivation and stopped trying on my homework and tests. I don’t get to speak to my therapist for another week, and haven’t been telling her about stuff that I should’ve and I lied when I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and I just feel so empty with a feeling of absolute HATE in my gut and it makes me feel so bad that I vomit. My negative thoughts had been getting better but suddenly everything’s worse and my grades are going down and I’ve gottwn a Saturday school last week as punishment for not completing any of my homework and I have another one for not doing any this week. I feel like such a **** up and that I don’t deraerve to live and my brain it constantly telling me to KILL MYSELF!! I just came here as my last hope because my friends won’t listen and my parents will get mad if I tell them. So, what’ll it be Yahoo?? What should I do??????
Update: For those who took this seriously, thanks! Im staying home from school today (cuz I feel miserable) and if you came by and thought of me as weak and pathetic, I am. Im still thinking of suicide but some of the answers are helping me to find ways to cope (i was up late online yesterday and ive been up since 4).... show more For those who took this seriously, thanks! Im staying home from school today (cuz I feel miserable) and if you came by and thought of me as weak and pathetic, I am. Im still thinking of suicide but some of the answers are helping me to find ways to cope (i was up late online yesterday and ive been up since 4). "the same boiling water that hardens the egg softens the potato, it's not the circumstance, it's what you're made of" Thanks so much ill be updating this question until im better
13 answers 13