Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentLaw & Ethics · 9 months ago

My adult son is refusing cancer treatment because he wants to die. Can I make him great treatment?

I recently found out my 23 year old son has been diagnosed with cancer. My wife passed away when he was a toddler, so he’s all I have. He’s on our insurance still (and will be until he’s 26). He’s refusing treatment because he has a death wish. It’s very treatable, but without treatment, he only has 1-2 years left. (It’s still in the early stages but the cancer can get worse very quickly). We also live in Oregon and he wants physician assisted suicide once the cancer is terminal. I see this as a passive form of suicide. Is there anything I can do to save his life?

Update:

I didn't say curable because cancer can never really be cured. However, he could very well go into remission and stay in remission for life according to his oncologist.

27 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Keep telling him how much you love him and that he has a great future ahead of him. Bring in animals or whatever he loves. Keep trying to get him to have the treatment and tell him that if he can get through this then he can get through anything. Perhaps he could try other things. Don’t give up on hope. I’m so sorry. Tell him that his mother would have wanted to see him alive and live a good life.

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    "I didn't say curable because cancer can never really be cured. However, he could very well go into remission and stay in remission for life according to his oncologist."

    What a damn fool and no Oncologist told him that ergo YOU are a DAMN TROLL. I am in remission from Leukemia however my Breast cancer has been cured for years NOT in remission. So you may get another type of cancer or even have the cancer recur but you can have the cancer removed and treatment and it is cured.

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    ONLY if the judge decides he is INCAPABLE MENTALLY OF MAKING HIS OWN MEDICAL DECISIONS..

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  • 9 months ago

    Your son may not have an ability to make decision due to the pain of cancer / painful medical treatment or wants to die just for being free from physical pain. In fact, lots of cancer patients experience depression and having desire to die, however they change. If his will had been revealed before he became ill, it might be solid, though (yet still both of you should not refuse medical treatment right now).

    Need to find professional counsellor, patient groups and physicians for second or third opinion. 23 y.o. is legal adult but still a kid. He lost his mother so young and has been difficult situation compared with other kids. Take some more time. It's too early to implement his current wish. He is in a certain stage of emotional reaction to the diagnosis of cancer. It may change as time goes by.

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Can you "make him great treatment?" If you can make great treatment for cancer, you'll be a billionaire. If you meant can you make him GET treatment, then no, he is of legal age and makes his own medical decisions.

    Yes, I know I sound unsympathetic, because I am. You are a troll. Yesterday you were asking if you can make your son get a vasectomy.

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Only if he signed over all medical decisions to you.

    Get him mental help, if possible. Enlist the aid of his doctors.

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  • 9 months ago

    The only way doing so is possible is if you can have your son deemed incompetent by a judge, and be willing to accept him as a dependent the rest of his life. Just that refusing medical treatment doesn't deem a person incompetent alone thus you will have to come up with other evidence he is incapable of caring for himself in pretty much every other way. Sorry.

    Instead I suggest enabling him to seek mental help in hopes he will change his mind before its too late.

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  • Find two doctors who agree that this is a suicide attempt and a sign of mental illness.

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    • Lili
      Lv 7
      9 months agoReport

      You'd need more a couple of doctors to agree to this. You'd need a court to rule that he was mentally incompetent, and the court would need the testimony of psychiatrists, not just any doctors.

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    Ask his doctor, but it may be that it is up to him to refuse treatment, it is very sad that he is so young with cancer, try to talk to him about how he can be cured and live a long time,can another family member help?

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  • 9 months ago

    "I see this as a passive form of suicide. Is there anything I can do to save his life?"

    Actually, rather than a form of suicide what you're wanting him to do is NOT let nature take its course. It's not suicide to do nothing which is what he is doing. Physician assisted suicide of course is suicide but if he just succumbs to the illness that's not suicidal.

    As soon as you're born you're dying, we all have to go. I understand that you love him and want him to be well and stay with you but he's old enough to decide for himself.

    The only thing you can do is try to convince him to take the man-made medicine/treatment that he is currently refusing.

    What might be a better use of your time is to ensure that the time he has left is made memorable and you do things together and help him clear his bucket list.

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