Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

Why would a guy intentionally try to hurt a girl’s self esteem?

To make a very long story short, I thought this guy was interested in me (he showed signs) so I decided to make the first move and talk to him. We hung out twice, and we ended hooking up. After that he ghosted for a few weeks, then all of a sudden started talking to me again. So I told him that I wasn’t interested in a hookup, and he told me that he didn’t know what he wanted, but wouldn’t mind getting to know me better. Anyway, we never talked after that. When the semester started, he would literally avoid me in person, but he added me on social media. Fast forward to this semester, I’ve blocked him on all of my social media, and I’m trying my best move on, but he’ll get in my proximity, and flirt with other girls. As if being ghosted after hooking up with a guy isn’t hurtful enough. It’s kind of like him nonverbally saying, “you weren’t good enough, but this girl is.” The reason why I think he’s intentionally doing this is because he only does it when I’m around. To be honest, it hurts and it makes me feel of a lesser value. What do I do?

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    He didn’t know what he wanted. Strange but I don’t think he does it when you’re just around. He probably like that with everyone, so I wouldn’t take it personally even though it feels like that. If he was interested or liked you, you’d know. He probably like that with everyone. He wasn’t sure about you and since he’s with another girl, he was obviously sure that’s what he wanted but will probably play other girls too. It happens, don’t let it get you down. It’s only one guy. He was probably insecure himself. Who knows. Know your value and your worth and add tax. How you respect and see yourself is how others do as well. If you know your worth, no guy will put you down. Be confident and know who you are. Trust me it works. Guys are good at seeing a girls insecurities and using them. You have to think like a man sometimes. Don’t let a guy play you. Don’t be ashamed of hooking up. Sometimes if you do put out so fast, if you want more, hold out. If a guy really likes you, he’ll wait. Don’t worry about it. Move on, plenty of guys out there who’ll treat you how you deserve to be treated. I’m sorry that happened. You aren’t lesser. Don’t think that. I wouldn’t even go on his pages, he’ll just know you’re still thinking about it. Especially if you blocked him, he’ll know he hurt you. Don’t let this one guy effect you. Plenty more. Don’t let any walk all over you either. I’m sure you won’t. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    For 2 reasons.

    1. If you lower someone else esteem it makes it easier to get them to undervalue themselves and so when you date them they always try to please you. Because they want your approval.

    2. By hurting a girl self esteem he is making himself feel better about himself as he probably thinks he isn't that good looking and wishes he had a better look or a better quality.

    Either case that it might be you should walk away from him and not keep his company he is most likely a selfish lover and would hit it and quit it and rinse and recycle while making you more dependent on him and get you to try to please him more.

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  • Bandz
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    Strange behaviour if true. But I doubt he only does it when you’re around. He simply doesn’t care that much. Over two-thirds of guys who hit on girls have that tendency where they won’t go out of their way to preserve a girl’s feelings while they are trying to get what they want.

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    • Bandz
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      He’s probably smirking because you happen to be there, and he knows what he’s doingis technically a bit questionable in your eyes.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Power hunger. Too common in Atheists.  They want everything to only be their way; their way only!  If he did not get what he wanted either they keep tying, or go just the opposite. 

    Pray to GOD for help here! 

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