Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

I can’t picture myself loving again?

I was so so in love with my ex.. I loved our love and I loved loving him. He was my best friend and I knew I was his. 

...but there was physical  abuse when he drank.. and there was neglect in the relationship. I tried so hard to save it .. and it came to the point where he was peer pressuring and guilting me for not wanting a 3some. I wasn’t comfortable with it and he guilted me for so long. The opportunity came for him I guess.. and he dumped me for a sexual encounter. It’s devastating and I can’t even imagine myself looking him in the eye once more. It may be the hurt speaking but I really don’t think I can look him in the eye ever again.

He called and emailed me, crying and begging but I had to force a no in taking him back. It should’ve been an obvious without hesitation no.. But I had to force myself to tell him to leave me alone and it hurt.

We were together for 5 years and i was completely blind to all the red flags in our relationship, I was ready to marry him and live a life with him. We even started apartment shopping until he dumped me.

I don’t know why.. but I feel like I am incapable of loving another man. 

I feel so empty inside. I now realize that this break up is for the best. But I seriously can not picture myself kissing another man, falling in love, going on dates and enjoying them. 

I just can’t. 

Does this ever get better? How long did it take you to feel ready to date again?

3 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    A boyfriend should NEVER try to pressure us into doing something we don't want to do or expect anything in particular from us. Abuse? NO. Why did you put up with thatShit? Never do it again.

    And just take your time getting past this situation, even if you have to talk to a therapist (no, i'm not kidding). You shouldn't be going around scared half to death of meeting someone else.

    When i date, just ONE RED FLAG and i'm gone. Oh yes, that's true. I don't put up with judgmental, critical, cell-phone distracted, self-seeking guys who have great expectations or who have control or abusive tendencies. Never will. Why would you?

  • 1 month ago

    2022 ;] . just try to cheer up. tc

  • 1 month ago

    It absolutely gets better. If he was even slightly abusive that will NEVER change. You are better off. And you WILL meet someone else. Don't sell yourself short. You are worth more than that. Just take some time to heal, spend time with family and friends, get to know yourself better. Time heals :)

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